The women in the wall.. a soured love!

 On June 2, 2023, at roughly 7:30 am. My sister had cramp-like feelings when she woke up. At 8:05 am, contractions began, arriving every two minutes and becoming harder with each one. We left our house at 9:27 am and drove the nearly 20 miles to the hospital.

 At one point I noticed that she was pushing, and as soon as I reached down, I could feel that she was progressing much more quickly than I had anticipated. She stated in a voice that was nearly faint, "We're not going to make it to the hospital." Sam, her husband, assured her that we would as he continued to drive. My Marrow almost came out of me because she held me tightly with her left hand almost squeezing life out of me. and with four powerful pushes her baby girl was born..Despite our excitement and fright we kept on driving to the hospital. 

To be sure she was hers, she continued looking at her. She had already fallen in love with her child the instant she realized there was life inside her, and the wait until delivery felt wonderful. She even began spinning off a variety of dreams for the infant and pondered what sort of mother she would be.In a journal she kept at the seven-month mark, she chronicled every stage of her child's life, from hearing that priceless heartbeat to the emotions of the time. and unfortunately, when she finally held her in her arms that morning, she felt more devoted and in love than she ever had with anyone else. not even her husband.

Little things about the baby, like her first grin and her first call that sounded like maa, dada, and papa, meant a lot to us. Her very first step and each of her deeds brought us complete joy and enlivened the true purpose of life. 

       motherhood!

 How could motherhood—a close bond—turn into negligence and animosity?

Having kids just puts everything in perspective. When you have children, you are never alone in your thoughts.
You carry your child inside of you and sleep with them on your chest.
kiss their tiny toes and wipe away their innocent tears when they sob for food and even vomit on you, pee on you, with many sleepless nights of cradles and then suddenly this little charm grows to a teenager, she is made an outcast by her same mother because she made a mistake, just like the women in the wall. 

 Sarah's childhood memories of being abandoned stay with me every day. Most of the time, nobody was there, and even when they were, they weren't really there because they had moved on even after she was raped and became pregnant as a teenager. Actually, it was just horrible.

 Sarah's experience was comparable to that of the majority of girls who are sent to the laundries by their families out of fear of a scandal involving illegitimacy, unmarried motherhood, sexual abuse, incest, domestic abuse, or disabilities and mental illness.The parents in question failed to safeguard their young girls' welfare and right to individual liberty.Because they had experienced sexual abuse, the majority of girls were put to the laundries. A place where most of the girls are imprisoned behind locked doors, barred with unreachable windows, and high walls with broken glassware glued at the top. On arrival, their names are frequently changed and they are frequently given identification numbers, but they typically receive no indication about when they will be released.Their clothes were taken away and replaced with a drab uniform, and even had their hair cut. These girls were constantly being watched, receiving verbal abuse, feeling cold, living in unhygienic surroundings, and none of them received an education.

Sarah was raised to believe it was her fault her mother used drugs and didn't want her, but she later came to see that her mother had made her own decisions and there was nothing she could do to change it. 

She often dressed in layers to avoid freezing to death and stored food to avoid hunger.
At only seven years old, she did return from school to her parents' void glances. They weren't excited to see her and didn't even inquire about her day. She felt unworthy and unimportant. After a while, they even stopped glancing at her. It appeared as though she had vanished gradually. Does a child really exist if their parents don't recognize them? The loneliness initially hurt, but with time it started to feel normal as if it had always been a part of her. 

When she was eleven years old, she had already mastered adulthood. She prepared her own meals, took care of her own hygiene needs, got straight A's, and kept out of trouble up until the age of 15 when her father started sexually abusing her. After becoming pregnant with her father, she was subsequently kicked out of the family home.

Through the assistance of a staff member at the sheltered housing facility where she had resided with her little daughter for more than 4 years, she began to find her life through the power of writing and had a safe space to explore her feelings. She started utilizing it as a means to express some of her distressing ideas and emotions through poetry.She relies heavily on poetry to help her regain her voice and deal with some of the mental wounds caused by the sexual assault she experienced as a child.